The Day Ron Decided to Pull Draco's Hair
by browneyedcat
Summary: ...\\ Chapter 13 uploaded!! //... Look at title, Read and Review please! Rated for crude words.
1. Dead Draco

Don't ask questions. please. Just review!  
  
Disclaimer- Don't own, don't dare sue.  
  
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One day Ron woke up and decided to pull Draco's hair. He didn't know why. So after Potion's he went to the Slytherin and pulled on his platinum blond locks.  
  
Draco's head fell off. Thus, Draco is now dead.  
  
"What the fuck bitch?" Harry yelled, who saw all this exchange, went up to Ron and slapped him, rendering him dead. "How dare you! Draco is my lover!"  
  
He pried lose Draco's head from Ron's death grip and cradled it in his arms, weeping silently.  
  
THE END  
  
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Review! I like reviews. They make me feel special and all good inside. And read my other stories!! They have plots! ^_^ well. one of them hehe.  
  
3 BrownEyedCat 


	2. Slap happy Hermione

Disclaimer- Don't own, don't dare sue.  
  
A/N- I wasn't going to continue this but I figured, what the hell. And here it is. Don't ask questions.  
  
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Ron was dead and so was Draco. Who should happen to come up but Hermione! Hermione walked over to Ron and sank to her knees. "Why oh why are you dead?!"  
  
A random student pointed out, "Harry killed him."  
  
"You bitch!" Hermione turned on her knees to the ever still crying Harry and bitch smacked him.  
  
  
  
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CLIFFHANGER!!!! *Laughs evily* What will happen? I don't know yet. But if you review I just might!! Just press the pretty blue button down there and leave a wee little review.  
  
3 Browneyedcat 


	3. Ron's pants

Disclaimer- Don't own, don't sue or I'll do it back!! *Shakes fist*  
  
Blah blah blah, just review.  
  
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Ron was dead and starting to get cold. Harry was still crying over his bitch slapped face and Hermione was still mad.  
  
Some random student who wishes to remain nameless *coughcolincreevycough* ran up to Ron and stole his pants. We don't know why. Most assume it was to take multiple piccys of.  
  
Hermione saw the whole thing and ran up to Colin. When he turned around she..  
  
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Another cliffy, I'm so evil. Should I continue it? REVIEW!  
  
3 BrownEyedCat 


	4. Die Colin DIE!!!

Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda, don't own them, not that rich. yet! *muha*  
  
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Killed him.  
  
  
  
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A/n- Whew! That was so hard! Took me forever to write it! But I am planning on multiple more chapters so stay tuned!  
  
3 BrownEyedCat  
  
P.S. This chapter won't make sense if you haven't read the 3rd chapter. Hell. it won't make sense if you read the whole story 


	5. The boy that continued to live... ugh

Disclaimer- shut up.  
  
This chapter will go more in depth to everyone's turmoil *scoffs* Cause I'm not lying.  
  
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Colin was dead. or was he?! Hermione had pulled off his head and...  
  
-POP!-  
  
A new one appeared! "Colin Creevy is too ugly to die!" Colin said, bursting out in evil laughter. "Now it's your turn!" Colin started in towards Hermione but who should appear but...  
  
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Cliffy! That's like the 3rd one. hehe. REVIEW! They make me type faster. Like now, I got one review and went up to write the 5th chapter in 5 minutes!!! Hehhe... Good things come to those who review.  
  
3 BrownEyedCat 


	6. Blaise Zambini saves the day! YAY!

Disclaimer- I don't own them although I wish every night that I did *sniff*  
  
A/N- I love this chapter.  
  
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As Colin was closing in on Hermione, someone new appeared! Blaise Zambini, the ever gender-bending boy/girl ran over to the two of them.  
  
"I hate you- you creepy looking ugly boy!" Blaise screamed as s/he kicked him in his crotch.  
  
"Ow." Colin fell to his knees and yelled out "STELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and died. -Plop- goes Colin.  
  
"Uh thank-you." Muttered Hermione as she kicked around Colin a bit on the floor.  
  
"Don't mention it! Seriously now. don't. I could get in trouble! But the world needs Blaise Zambini to kill the other creepy looking ugly boys of the world!" Blaise put his/her hands on his/her hips and blinked his/her eyes, disappearing... never to be seen again!  
  
"Uh... What just happened here?" Said...  
  
TBC  
  
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A/N- Hehe. my longest chapter yet!! I'm so proud. ^_^ This is the 2nd version. I wrote a first version but was disgusted with it and re-wrote it hehe... but let's never bring that up again!  
  
*Gets down on her knees and produces puppy-dog eyes* Review please? Look! I'm on my knees!  
  
3 BrownEyedCat 


	7. Enter Snape

Disclaimer- Don't own please God... don't sue.  
  
A/N- My beta said I shouldn't do so many author's notes [beta Michelle says: BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPERFLUOUS!] but you know what? I like em hehehe so kiss my ass and smoke another cigarette bitch. "Bitch she lied to me!"  
  
So many inside jokes it will make you wet your pants.  
  
  
  
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Said Snape.  
  
"Uh.. People died. cough cough. I have to go some more schoolwork. Yes.. that's it." Hermione muttered under her breath to the greasy headed professor.  
  
"Mr. Potter, please shut up with that incessent sniveling. Wait... is that Mr. Malfoy?!"  
  
"Sniff sniff, yes, it might be."  
  
"Ah... I see. um. carry on."  
  
"Tally-ho Mr. Kangaroo." Harry said, still crying.  
  
TBC...  
  
  
  
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A/N- That sucked Michelle's ass, you think I would be inspired seeing as how I am sitting on a bench by the beach but life sucks so get over it. Review!! Hehe.  
  
3 BrownEyedCat  
  
P.S. on a totally different note, I've had 6 ciggies today and my head hurts. I'm also hungry. 


	8. Cookie's Gallore!

Disclaimer- All I own are the cookies!!  
  
A/N- I'm on my friends computer so I don't remember where I left off...  
  
  
  
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Yes... Harry was still crying over Draco. But since today was Thursday at the crescent moon, it was time to make cookies!!  
  
Just like magic (go figure) cookie ingredients appeared everywhere! There was sugar, flour, eggs... etc. Everyone joined in and had a gay old time. Even Dumbledore apeared with a twinkle in his eye and rolled up his sleeves to get a little messy.  
  
Draco's dead body was now used as a table where all the scrumptious cookies where to be placed. Yes... even young Harry joined in on the fun... Draco's head long forgotten until...  
  
  
  
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A/N- Hehe. only me and Michelle know what's gonna happen now!! But will all too in the next few days. I'm off to write it and make more cookies!  
  
Random song of the moment- Ain't No Mountain High by the Temptations 


	9. DNA Madness

Disclaimer- I love cookies.  
  
  
  
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Hermione showed up yet again. "You know what?" She said through a mouthful of yummy, crumbly, buttery cookie goodness. "I figured out that if you extract the DNA of one dead person, in this case the disembodied Draco Malfoy, and input it in another human being, usually a child, it will go right to sleep!!"  
  
Seamus Finnigan decided that right now would be he perfect time to enter into this on-going, never gonna stop, starting to get annoying story.  
  
He heeded what Hermione was jabbering about and extracted some DNA from Draco's dead lifeless body. With that being done he plunged the needle into the still talking Hermione and inserted the fluid in her. Hermione is now asleep... for a loong time.  
  
"AND THE PEASENTS REJOICE!" Everyone shrieked.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
  
  
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A/N- I am so majorly stupid. I came up with ths chapter when I was watching Monster's INC and Scully made Boo fall asleep just like that. Me and my beta talked about how we were gonna make a new super human race where all the children fall asleep like that. Yup... that's EXACTLY what's gonna happen. 


	10. Attack of the Henna

Disclaimer- Bring on the lawsuits! Only... I didn't do anything wrong so it would be pure useless.  
  
A/N- The following chapter was inspired by the pretty, pretty henna on my hand. The henna is going to my head... Damnit.  
  
  
  
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Well now, there was a sleeping Hermione, a dead Ron, long forgotten, and a dead cookie-covered Draco Malfoy.  
  
-Whoosh!- Michelle charged into the room, loaded with her cow-printed pillow and bottles and bottles of henna. Don't forget the henna book!!  
  
"You know what? I am gonna put henna on you whether you like it or not!" she shrieked at the hallway.  
  
Obediently the students lined up for henna and Michelle was very happy as she was over charging them 100 Galleons for a single henna tattoo.  
  
Rejoice! Michelle had multiple amusements for that 4 hours. Does not matter that it takes forever.  
  
But alas, Michelle was very, very sad because she couldn't spend any money as she lives in the muggle world. Poor Michelle, she suffers so.  
  
  
  
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Michelle- "I do suffer so! Maybe I can go to Gringotts and... exchange it for... real money?"  
  
Michelle Michelle Michelle... when the hell will you ever learn?  
  
A/N- Sorry this chapter sucked. But don't worry. I have about 40 more of these loaded up in my pretty head. Poor pretty Jerusha, I suffer so. 


	11. Draco's Head

A/N- Sorry for the extreme lack of updates. I am a whore and I should be punished.  
  
Random thing of the day- I like cheese  
  
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Harry was sitting there, sad in his Draco-less glory when out of the blue Draco's head started to float!!  
  
"Haaarry, oh why have you forsaken me?"  
  
"HOLY SHIT!! IT'S A TALKING HEAD!" Harry screamed in his womanish yell.  
  
"Uh, yea jackass." With that final word Draco's head fell to the floor and started to roll down the hall.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!"  
  
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Sorry if that was stupid. But isn't that the point of the story? I think so. 


	12. Ginny Scores A Touchdown

HI! *waves from her computer to the others on their computers*  
  
I am starting off this "chapter" with no idea how it's gonna turn out or start. I'm bored.  
  
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Draco's head was rolling about on the floor when Ginny Weasley came up and kicked it like a football into the wall.  
  
"Score one for the G-lady!" Ginny sang as she did a little victory dance, her red hair whipping every which way, which was into Harry's face.  
  
"Ew.. Girl hair. *swat swat* now I have germs..." Harry said as he coughed up a red hairball.  
  
"You know you like it." She retorted back as she danced her way out of the hall and out of this story.  
  
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A/N- ... That was so lame.  
  
Please kill me. 


	13. Naked Pansy

Another day, another dollar  
  
Disclaimer- I am making no money off of this story. If anything I have to pay for it. When I print out the chapters they waste my paper and ink. Paper and ink I bought! So if anything, JK Rowling owes me money for my paper and ink. Stupid cunt.  
  
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"Ohmigod! Ewww!" Pansy Parkinson started to sob. "My clothes are covered with blood! Get it off! GET IT OFF!"  
  
Pansy was indeed covered with blood. When Ginny had kicked Draco's head into the wall, blood spurted everywhere. Even into Seamus' mouth. But you don't hear him complaining like a whiny bitch.  
  
Pansy started to shed all of her clothes to rid herself of the blood. Now she's naked.  
  
Isn't that nice boys and girls?  
  
"Ew, Pansy, put your fucking clothes back on. No one wants to see that." Dean Thomas exclaimed, covering his eyes.  
  
"You're just jealous cause you don't have boobs."  
  
"What boobs?"  
  
"I'LL KILL YOU!"  
  
TBC  
  
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A/N- Hahahaa, I actually like that chapter. 


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